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Positive Parenting for Conscious Community Action

Updated: Apr 7, 2021

dad and son laying on the floor as dad teaches son with blocks

Hey you! Yes, you! Welcome! Thank you for joining us on this brave, bold, and incredibly impactful journey of self-exploration, healing, & positive parenting/mentorship. Your fierce dedication to being the best person you can be, is necessary for modeling the values, skills and discernment needed to live healthy and happily, while leading your children in doing the same.

Feel free to stay a while, adopting tips, skills, and knowledge to best serve your ability to model and talk about how to thrive in life, not just survive. Together we aim to build trust, resilience, bravery and healthy relationships to protect against experiencing and/or causing harm. Some things to consider when parenting for conscious community action:

  1. The perspectives you hold are a result of a unique blend of your genetics, your environmental experiences, and your individual choices. Though you may share similarities with your children, you are individuals, just as they are. How your mind, and body experiences stress, trauma or new experiences vary across many spectrums. Remaining mindful of this when parenting can help you build empathy for your child’s love language, and apology language

  2. Teaching your children to challenge their own perspectives regularly as a necessary part of upholding healthy, fulfilling personal, and interpersonal (relationship between persons) relationships strengthens your child’s decision making skills, non-violent problem solving skills and helps them in many aspects of their everyday lives.

  3. Teach your children it is never too late to expand your horizons, and to learn. Not only does this protect against cognitive decline as we age, but it also models neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity is a term for your brain’s strength and ability in growing and changing systematically. Think of your ability to form new connecting neurons, re-organize what you know, and the connections between what you know. Are you doing your best to support your openness to learning new things? Did you know that practicing this can benefit your long term mental health, memory and quality of relationships? It’s okay if you didn’t know, thanks to neuroplasticity, and your cognitive ability you may know now! Parents’ expectations, values and traditions, no matter how well-intentioned, may limit the experiences individuals, especially youth, engage with and learn from. These seemingly “innocent” or “unconscious” tendencies of choice strengthen over time, that limit individual, familial, and community openness to learning from others different from themselves, thus missing out on lasting lessons, and expansive experiences.

  4. The foundation of positive parenting is mutual respect as a result of deeply committed, and loving relationships. The goals of positive parenting vary, but at a core center in developing you and your child’s self-control/self-mastery. In order to effectively do this, positive parenting relies heavily on the “why” or reasoning behind our decision making/request, in addition to the “what” (the decision/request).

  5. Teach your children discernment in decision making. Practice offering the “why” with the “what” to encourage your child’s ability to identify healthy behaviors, and decision making. Over Reliance on phrases like “Because I told you” aims to parent from fear, rather than from respect, setting the tone for your child’s unhealthy relationship dynamics later. Practice sharing the “why” behind behaviors, and activities you want your child to choose can encourage their resilience to peer pressure.

  6. Your children are less likely to trust what you say, if they don’t see you modeling the behaviors requested of them. Relying on phrases like “do as I say, not as I do” teaches your children that your word does not align with your behavior and it is okay for your children to do the same. It also sends conflicting messages of what integrity is, and honesty looks like.

  7. Allyship for any cause is powerful, but it is not a coat that can be taken on and off when convenient. Modeling healthy relationships, like conscious community action, for your child, especially tweens, requires consistency of commitment, investment, and development. An ally is never the expert over someone with lived experience. No matter how much you have studied, read, volunteered or protested, being an ally is a conscious community contract as a life-long student dedicated to the empowerment and upliftment of a marginalized community. It requires humility, mental fortitude, vulnerability, openness, empathy, compassion, resilience, and persistence. Allies use their privileges, advantages, opportunities, connections, and knowledge to create conscious community action. Allyship is something that is awarded to you by another, never something claimed yourself. Never a badge worn for “social cred” or professional benefit. This helps to weed out individuals hoping to benefit off a movement, but not invest in it. Allyship for your community, its members and for those marginalized systemically is needed to usher in the change we yearn to create for our children, and their children to come, so we thank you for taking this journey to prepare for conscious community action.

Conscious community action starts with YOU! Becoming more aware of what you do, who/what it impacts, who/what it supports, who/what it harms,and who/what motivates you to do or not do something is the foundation for participating in conscious community action. What brings us to participate in individual, relational, communal, and societal collective changes varies across the board, but what keeps us is our hope, investment, and visualization of a better future for us all.An equitable future filled with love, liberty, pursuit of happiness, and celebration of diversity. Though we have exciting opportunities for you and your children to engage with (See our Take Action Resource Pages) to connect with conscious change makers and shakers in our beloved SLO County community, our hope is that in addition to seeking to heal systems outside of ourselves, we recognize the power and permeability of the courageous/compassionate change we can create within, at home, & together.

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