Redefine Your Expectations
You have a vision for your child’s success. The challenge is finding the right balance between not challenging a child enough to achieve their greatest potential and making demands that are beyond their skill level or not aligned with their personality or interests.
Unrealistic expectations from adults hurt children's self-esteem and impact their ability to bounce back from failure. They become afraid to try new things and fear making mistakes when learning new skills. When children are pushed against their interests and tendencies, they hide parts of themselves and grow distant.
Children experience shame when they feel you are disappointed and may experience higher rates of depression, anxiety, addiction, and relational health.
If a child seems "different" from their peers or how you were at their age, or if they express their gender differently than you expected, those differences are the key to their successful adulthood.
You can be their champion and coach, even if their interests and tendencies are something you don't understand or share.
Examine your vision for what success means for your child. Does it align with their expressed interests or do you face resistance from them? Is your expectation coming from some other motivation or is it more aligned with your own interests and personal goals?
We all thrive to achieve our highest potential when we feel we are cherished exactly as we are. Praise your child’s efforts, not their achievements. When a child believes in their own abilities, they can focus them wherever they choose.
You have the important role of providing them the tools for their unique success.